Regrets About Moving Onto A Sailboat

Recently we were asked about regrets we have from moving onto a sailboat, and it got me thinking for the first time about things I would have done differently if I could go back in time and start again.

It’s an interesting question to consider, as up until now I felt like I was finally living as everyone says you should – with no regrets. I’m finally doing all the things I dreamed of and more, so what would I possibly have to feel sad and disappointed about.

But we all know that you can’t switch off your feelings just because you’ve run away to sea! So I thought I’d delve into the topic of regrets, in the hopes that at the end of this post you won’t regret wasting two minutes of your life reading it! Enjoy!

Regret

Verb

To feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that one has done or failed to do.

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To live a life of no regrets seems a little ambitious to me. It’s certainly overambitious for me, overthinker that I am! I can’t help but think surely it’s natural to feel sad, repentant or disappointed over mistakes you’ve made, especially when those mistakes affect others.

I frequently regret angry words spilled in an argument, or things I phrase badly that cause someone else pain. Is there anyone that can honestly say they’ve never said something they don’t really mean, or done something they shouldn’t have done, or even just worded something badly causing someone to misunderstand and take offence?

I’m also not sure that regret deserves the negative connotations it’s earned. Regret has helped me apologise, learn, and grow in ways I couldn’t have if I’d never experienced sadness at my mistakes.

So as we’ve now established, there certainly are things in my life I regret doing or not doing. What regrets (if any) do I have about this sailing adventure that I’ve been so determined to succeed at?

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Missing Out On Family And Friends

Family and friends are probably the most important things in our lives (apart from Tiny Cat of course). When we started this adventure and first moved onto a sailboat, I could persuade myself that it wouldn’t be for long. I was sure that we’d run out of money or sink the boat or just realise life at sea wasn’t for us.

But the longer we get into this journey, the more we realise how much we love living on a little floating home at sea. We can’t imagine living in a house in the near future, and we’ll do everything we can to keep ourselves afloat financially!

With that has come a huge sacrifice.

We’re so lucky to live in these times, when we can call our loved ones from anywhere at any time and talk for hours on the phone. What is much harder is making more memories with them.

We can’t go for drinks together on a Friday night. We can’t attend weddings and birthday parties. We can’t book a girls weekends away or head off on stag dos.

Even worse has been missing funerals, and being able to share goodbyes with loved ones.

It’s also heart breaking not being around for our nieces, nephews, and God children. Young kids aren’t quite so interested in you when you’re not there to throw them a ball or chase them around the garden. And we can’t be around to babysit when our friends need a night off.

I would say not being around is probably our biggest regret and the hardest part of this adventure.

Perhaps regret is the wrong word, as it’s something we’ve chosen rather than a mistake we’ve made. It’s a sacrifice, a really tough one, and the only one that has us questioning our decision to do this at times.

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Letting Anxiety Hold Us Back

This is 100% on me, and I feel regret about that a lot. Adam looks at it all very differently, and his viewpoint helps me rationalise things.

There are many things on this adventure that Adam would have done differently if it wasn’t for my anxiety getting in the way. He would venture out in more extreme weather, or leave the sails up a little longer, or anchor a little shallower.

We have a rule, however, that when we disagree we go with my gut. Although frustrated at times, Adam mostly accepts that my danger gauge has probably prevented us from getting into ‘deep water’ many a time.

I can’t help but feel my anxiety sometimes prevents us from some awesome experiences, but I’m also sure that sometimes it saves us.

There have been nights when I’ve felt unsafe in certain anchorages, and my anxiety has meant we’ve stayed up to anchor watch when nothing has happened. There have also been nights when my gut tells me stay up and we’ve dragged anchor and would have lost the boat on the rocks if it hadn’t been for me.

I regret the times I panic over nothing, but there is also a part of me that is pleased for the cautiousness. I guess in most cases it’s better to be safe than sorry!

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Taking Things For Granted

Adam and I have many conversations where we berate ourselves for taking small things about moving onto a sailboat for granted. I would give anything to go back to the first year of sailing, when everything was different and new.

It’s so hard not to get used to living a certain way. When the sea is completely still and you can see 10 metres down almost every day you get complacent. You decide not to go for a swim because you’ve just washed your hair (which to be honest is far more novel these days!)

We have to work hard to remind ourselves that most people don’t get to go spearfishing on their lunchbreak, or watch the sunset every evening.

It’s usually when guests arrive that we feel a little regret at taking things for granted. They literally can’t wait to get the anchor down and dive into the water. They are itching to get the sails up or helm the boat. They take pictures of EVERYTHING!

When we see our lives through their eyes it’s like we’re seeing it for the first time again, and it renews that wonder we sometimes lose.

So taking things for granted is definitely something we regret at times, and something we have to work at remembering not to do!

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Not Doing It Sooner

This is a silly regret, but a real one all the same.

I met Adam a year before we started planning this adventure, so there’s really no way I could have done this any sooner.

I made some half hearted attempts to sail on my own, but I’m not one of these people that’s passionate about being independent. In fact, solo travel sounds like my worst nightmare.

One of the things I love most about travel is sharing the experience. I love making memories with someone, having someone to chat to on long hikes, having someone to laugh with about the disasters and share in all the amazing times.

Adam opened my eyes to the fact you could move onto a sailboat longer term, and I guess I enabled him to fulfil this dream in other ways. So really, it was the perfect time.

But that doesn’t stop me from wishing we’d met sooner, and started this adventure when we were younger. I suppose this is the kind of regret people tell you not to bother with, because it’s not something I can learn from or apologise for.

It worked out how it was meant to, and it’s nonsense spending time regretting it. Still, the regret is there sometimes. Just sometimes.

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Do We Regret Decisions Made Onboard?

There are a lot of things we’ve done during our time living aboard that I could say I’d change if we had a do over. Nearly sinking the boat wasn’t a highlight. Spending months in a boatyard certainly wasn’t fun. Dragging anchor in our first season was pretty terrifying!

In all honesty though, I’m not sure I would do anything differently if we were given the chance to go back in time. Every little mistake we’ve made has added to some incredible learning experiences.

Nearly sinking the boat was my worst nightmare, but facing it has meant I know I can handle the situation if it ever happens again. It wasn’t (quite) as bad as I thought it might be.

Our time in the boatyard has been really, really hard. It put strain on us physically and emotionally, and it was tough on our relationship too. But I have learnt so many skills from working on Hot Chocolate and I feel like I know this boat inside out – literally.

Dragging anchor so early on in the season made us cautious. It’s the reason we spent a lot of time perfecting our anchoring skills and upgrading our set up so that now we feel safer going to sleep at night. It’s the reason we’re careful to anchor watch when the wind is up, or move when we feel the anchor hasn’t held as well as we’d like.

So I don’t think we do have any regrets about decisions made onboard, only a whole lot of experience and experiences, making us more capable and giving us some awesome stories to tell over sundowners!

So now you know the truth behind those breezy ocean captions for Instagram and the inspirational quotes about sailing – there are always positives and negatives to life, and these are our ‘negatives’ here on the big blue!

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